Sex Guide for Newlyweds

This is my favorite video of the week -- Sex Guide for Newlyweds (xin hun zhi nan). I noticed it because when I was a kid in the 1980's, it was the title of every soft-core porn video on the shelves of video stores where I rented movies. And as far as the Joy of Sex goes, that was all you could get in China back then. We weren't supposed to see these videos until we tied the knot, but plenty of horny young Chinese girls and boys would go to any lengths to get their hands on a Sex Guide for Newlyweds just for the hot lovemaking scenes.

I found this video--a very tame spoof of the original "Sex Guides" from the 1970s--on a site promoting the movie Two Stupid Eggs, which will hit the theatres in China around Christmas 2007. Two Stupid Eggs is a Chinese adaptation of the Spanish movie Torroemolinos 73 (2003). The movie stars Guo Tao (Crazy Stone) and is a sequel to director A-Gan's Big Movie.

There is none of the nudity or sexual positions featured in the original videos, but a guy in a suit lectures: "In Freudian theories, the urge to have sex is called 'Libido'. Before marriage, this energy should be channeled into hobbies." He also advises that "there are many ways to improve your sex life, like giving your wife a massage, doing hola-hoop and eating garlic". At one point a newlywed goes in for a physical and the doctor asks him to bring out his "sex organ" to which he produces his index finger and his tongue.

The video is entertaining, it's just too bad it doesn't even approach the soft-core porn status of the original Sex Guides for Newlyweds distributed back in the 1970. Back then, marriage applicants in Chinese registration offices were shown the video as part of their sex education. At that time pre-marital sex was a big no-no in China so the government provided a handy "how to" manual on video on your wedding day. I'd like to see one of the original Sex Guides for Newlyweds on tudou, coming soon. -- posted by Mia

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